h-u-r-t-s

I think a lot after reading jeng Miund’s post…
She reminded me that there’s no point flirting on something when you already decide never to act on it…

I made a mistake
I flirt with something…
I flirt with some values which I decided never to act on it
And it hurts
It really hurts

It feels hurt when I realize that I have broke the value
It feels hurt when I know that there is no single reason will justify my act
And it feels hurt when I understand that I let myself being used by something or someone

The feeling still appears
I feel it a lot, even after lots of hours… after quite some time when I force myself not to think about it anymore

Then the pain reduces when I see my friends, my partner in crime, even my “hi-good bye” friend. They might be not understand the thing I face currently but I have faith that they will stand by me, holding my hands and give their support even if I do terrible mistake.

And the pain reduces a lot when I think about God. Don’t know why… but I just feel that I can hear Him saying this

“Yeah… you made a mistake. So what? I still love you anyway”

So for all my friends who are currently feeling the same way like I do, I know that it is not easy but try to remember this… “You worth a lot! A lot more than your mistakes, a lot more than your failures”

And lets just face this tough world!

Thank you...!

Mau ucapin terima kasih yang sangat banyak sekali untuk:

Sony Dwi Kuncoro
Markis Kodo
Hendra Setiawan
Luluk Hadiyanto
Alvent Yulianto
Nova Widianto
Lilyana
Flandy Limpele
Vita Marissa
Maria Kristin Julianti
Taufik Hidayat
Raema Lisa Rumbewas
Eko Yuli Irawan
Triyatno
Edi Kurniawan
Sandow Weldemar Nasution
Suryo Agung
Dedeh Erawati
Doni B Utomo
Fibriani Ratna Marita
Rina Dewi
Ika Yulianan Rachmawati
I Gusti Made Oka Sulaksana
Yosheefin Shilla Prasasti
*sumber: Antara

Untuk keberanian kalian menghadapi Olimpiade 2008…
Walaupun medalinya gak banyak, tak papa… tetap aku bangga sekali
Terima kasih …

Teman sejiwa

Dua hari ini aku ngobrol via email sama sahabatku, Hani.
Bener-bener ajaib deh… the way God brings us together as a friend.
Jadi ceritanya, aku kenal Hani di kampus. Jadi deket karena kita sama2 ngalamin proses yang amat sangat melelahkan waktu mau convert ke D3.

Hubungan pertemanan kita gak ditentukan sama intensitas pertemuan. Maksudnya, gak musti ke mana2 bareng dan gak musti ada di komunitas yang sama.
Tapi lucunya kalo kita ketemuan setelah sekian bulan gak ketemu, kok ya gak berasa ada waktu2 yang hilang hehehe… (Han, itu menurut gw loh…)

She was and will always be there when I need a shoulder.
Bo, I hope you feel the same way too about me  Gw gak bisa kasih nilai ke diri sendiri juga kan…

Obrolan kita selama dua hari ini memang berat dan gak bisa di-share di public room. Dari situ aku semakin yakin bahwa temen se-jiwa tuh gak bisa dibatasin sama perbedaan. Dia bisa tetep jadi dia, dan aku tetep jadi aku tanpa merasa takut bakal dihakimi, ditinggal dan gak dianggap temen lagi.

Hani… I thank God for you.
Thank you for being you and for letting me being me.
Thank you for your support, for caring, and for trusting that my strength is still there.
Jadinya gw gak musti pasang susuk kan Bo… hehehehe

Kamu punya temen sejiwa gak?
Lucky you, If you have one
Yang belum punya, cari… dan cari…
Semoga ketemu ya!